What is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam is a type of fraud where a scammer pretends to form a romantic or emotional relationship with someone online to gain their trust—and ultimately, their money or personal information. These scams typically occur on dating apps, social media platforms, or messaging services.

The scammer creates a fake identity, showers the victim with affection, and then invents a compelling reason to ask for money—often claiming an emergency, travel issues, or medical expenses. Victims may send funds multiple times before realizing it was all a lie.

Why Are Romance Scams on the Rise?

Romance scams have become increasingly common due to the rise in online dating and social networking platforms. People are more digitally connected than ever, but they also face a greater risk of interacting with someone who isn’t who they claim to be.

According to various reports, romance scams account for hundreds of millions of dollars in losses annually, and the numbers keep growing. Fraudsters often work in teams and use sophisticated psychological manipulation tactics to exploit victims.

Common Characteristics of Romance Scams

Understanding the typical signs of a romance scam can help protect individuals and institutions from falling victim. Here are the most common red flags:

1. Too Good to Be True

The scammer appears very attractive, successful, and emotionally available. Their profile often looks perfect—but it’s too perfect.

2. Moves Quickly

They profess love or strong feelings early on, often within days or weeks of connecting.

3. Long-Distance Relationship

Scammers usually claim to be working overseas or stationed in another country, which helps them avoid meeting in person.

4. Asks for Money

After building emotional trust, the scammer creates a fake crisis and asks for financial help—usually through wire transfers, gift cards, or crypto.

5. Avoids Video Calls

They often find excuses to avoid live calls or in-person meetings, citing poor internet, time zones, or work restrictions.

How Do Romance Scams Work?

Here’s a step-by-step overview of how romance scams typically unfold:

1. Targeting – Scammers use dating sites, social media, or even messaging apps to find potential victims, often targeting those who appear lonely or vulnerable.
2. Building Trust – They establish frequent communication, offer compliments, share personal stories, and pretend to fall in love quickly.
3. Isolation – Victims may be encouraged to keep the relationship a secret or distance themselves from friends who question the relationship.
4. The Ask – Once trust is built, scammers fabricate an emergency that requires money—medical bills, travel costs, visa issues, or legal troubles.
5. Repeat Requests – Even after receiving money, scammers often create new reasons to ask for more, playing on the victim’s emotions.
6. Disappearance or Blackmail – Eventually, the scammer vanishes—or in some cases, threatens to expose personal messages or photos if more money isn’t sent.

Who Are the Victims?

Romance scams can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. However, certain groups may be more vulnerable:

• Individuals who are recently divorced, widowed, or emotionally vulnerable
• Seniors or older adults unfamiliar with digital scams
• People who use dating sites frequently
• Social media users who share personal details publicly

Financial Institutions & Romance Scams

Banks and fintech companies play a critical role in identifying and stopping romance scams. Since many victims unknowingly become money mules (transferring or receiving funds on behalf of scammers), it's crucial for financial institutions to:

• Monitor unusual transaction patterns
• Train frontline staff to recognize signs of financial grooming
• Educate customers on the risks of romance scams
• Implement real-time fraud detection and customer risk scoring

How to Avoid Romance Scams

Whether you're an individual or part of a financial institution, prevention is key. Here are some best practices:

For Individuals:

• Be cautious about people who ask you to move the conversation off the platform quickly
• Never send money or share financial information with someone you've never met
• Be skeptical of “perfect” profiles with few friends or little interaction
• Verify identities—use reverse image searches or video calls
• Talk to friends or family before making any financial decisions

For Financial Institutions:

• Use AI-based fraud detection to identify behavioral anomalies
• Flag transactions involving overseas beneficiaries or sudden large transfers
• Train staff to handle sensitive conversations with potential victims
• Share educational resources on digital and romance scams with customers

Real-Life Example

Consider this true-to-life scenario:

A retiree in Hong Kong connects with a man claiming to be a U.S. military officer stationed overseas. Over a few weeks, they grow close. He says he’s coming to visit but gets “detained” at the airport and needs $10,000 for clearance. She wires the money—then more, as new emergencies arise. She eventually loses over HKD 500,000 before realizing it was a scam.

Scenarios like this aren’t rare—they’re alarmingly common.

How Tookitaki Helps Detect Romance Scam Patterns

At Tookitaki, we empower banks and financial institutions with AI-powered transaction monitoring and behavioural analytics to detect signs of romance scams in real-time.

Our platform can:

• Flag suspicious peer-to-peer transfers linked to romance scam typologies
• Identify mule account activity through anomaly detection
• Integrate global red flag scenarios into existing compliance frameworks
• Reduce false positives while improving fraud detection accuracy

By combining AI with real-world financial crime insights, Tookitaki helps institutions proactively protect their customers from emotional and financial exploitation.

Conclusion

Romance scams are a painful mix of emotional betrayal and financial loss—and they’re growing rapidly in today’s connected world. But awareness is the first line of defence.

By understanding how these scams work, recognizing red flags, and implementing smart fraud prevention strategies, both individuals and institutions can stay protected.

Whether you’re swiping on a dating app or reviewing transaction alerts at a bank, remember: if something feels off, it probably is.

FAQs: Romance Scams

Q1: What should I do if I suspect a romance scam?
Stop communication immediately, do not send money, and report the scam to local authorities and the platform where it occurred.

Q2: How can banks detect romance scam activity?
Through transaction monitoring, pattern recognition, and red flag typologies related to emotional manipulation and cross-border transfers.

Q3: Are romance scams illegal?
Yes. Romance scams often involve fraud, identity theft, and financial exploitation—punishable under cybercrime and fraud laws.